Tuesday, October 31, 2006
life indeed has been real kind and nice to mehad a blast with life now and everyday(except tues & fri) there'll bethose laughing and being mad daysbut somehow somewhere,wat e ustazah had said to me, start to lurk in my mind"when you are feeling happy, sorrow will be injected in ur life at the same time too" and vice versaand true enuf, there is something deep in e heart tat no one noes, how evil and selfish i can bewell, until now la that iswat makes a family to meis juz:Mommy, Daddy, Me and my 2 brosanyone outside e circle, i'd considered as an outsiderright nowpoor grandmashe lost her house (with no thanks to some "smarty pants")mommy say to let her stay in the house.my 1st reaction was i refused to let her stayeveryone noe i was e evil partybut in e end, she did stay a few nites and allbut no matter how hard i try, i am just unable to let her inup till now, i can never find the answer whyi try telling myself, how wud i feel if i were in her shoe?how wud i feel if i were to be treated like tat in e future bymy own grandchildren?how wud i react if my children were to treat that to mommy?i try telling myself tat hoping to make my heart lunglai in a waybut i just cannotmommy says i am selfish and i told her i noe but my heart juzunable to do wat is e right thing to do!til today, that guilt is always there, untouchablesometimes i just wonder how can u guys out there able to let grams stay and be part of ur lifewen i find it so hard to do soi can accept it if people come to my house for a visitbut if it is for a stay, i juz cannottried asking my 2 bros they too felt the same wayi tink living in e kampong is much better..maybe i wont even have e word "selfish" in my life tooseeing they are always together and e bond between relatives are there, it made me wonderhow come i can never hav tat in this family tree of mine?
10/31/2006 07:27:00 PM
